’90 Day Fiancé’: Kalani Shares the 1 Reason She’s Not Rushing to Divorce Asuelu

Here's why Kalani isn't rushing to divorce Asuelu, despite wanting to be "done" with their relationship.

by Chelsea Stewart

Published on September 7, 2020

3 min read

Problems between Kalani and Asuelu peaked over a money dispute with his family

The drama began a few episodes back when Asuelu’s mother and sister asked Asuelu for $1,000 when the couple took a trip to their home in Washington. Although it’s customary in Samoan culture for a young adult to take care of their parents, Asuelu and Kalani don’t have the means to support two households and therefore could not offer up that much support.

Though it was a joint decision, Kalani seemed to face more blame and criticism than Asuelu. His family accused her of controlling him and prohibiting him from taking care of them in the way that he did before they married. The back-and-forth spilled out across several episodes before peaking in the Aug. 23 program when Asuelu’s sister tried to attack Kalani.

The fighting has affected Kalani’s marriage with Asuelu

After the blowout with Asuelu’s sister, Kalani went to talk to her husband about what happened. However, the conversation quickly grew heated when Kalani started bad-mouthing his family.

Asuelu criticized her use of profanity and trolled her over her claim that she would have “knocked out” his sister had she touched her. “I think you’re missing the point,” Kalani replied. “I’m saying if your sister would have touched a freakin’ molecule on my body, I would have dropped her. Period. So shut the hell up. Now you’re pissing me off because you’ve turned this whole thing into whether or not, who can beat up who.”

After he continued to challenge her, Kalani left the room and went to vent to her sister. In a later episode, she revealed Asuelu had overheard the conversation and left their home in a rage after “screaming” at her. Though he eventually returned and tried to make up for everything, there was still plenty of tension between them.

Kalani says she’s fed up with Asuelu

Back home in Utah, Kalani told cameras in the Sept. 6 episode that she and Asuelu still had unresolved issues. “We haven’t really talked about anything that happened in Washington. I think we’re just avoiding the whole thing because it was really bad and it kind of made me feel like I didn’t even want to be married anymore,” she explained.

In a sit-down with her mom, Kalani mentioned divorce but said she wanted to exhaust all possible options before taking that step.

“If we get divorced, I just want to know that I tried everything that I possibly could because then I could tell the boys, I did this, I did this, I did this. I don’t want to be like, ‘Eh, let’s just give up,'” she continued, referencing their sons, Oliver and Kennedy.

Kalani said that she would try therapy with Asuelu next “because I can’t keep living like this. It’s insane.” With the help of their counselor, she decided to try to talk to Asuelu’s family once more to hash everything out and see if they can reach a better place. But it’s unclear how that will actually go.