Angela Simmons Reveals The Hardest Part About Surviving Domestic Abuse
Not even celebrities are exempt from being in abusive relationships. Rihanna famously put a spotlight on abuse after her horrific domestic violence ordeal with Chris Brown. Angela Simmons has also been open about surviving a verbally and physically abusive relationship. Now, Simmons is revealing the most difficult part she endured through her experience.
Angela Simmons previously spoke about being in an abusive relationship
Simmons began opening up about being in an abusive relationship in 2018, describing the relationship as one of the worst experiences of her life. It’s assumed that she was abused by her now-deceased ex-fiance, Sutton Tennyson. In court documents, it was revealed that Simmons was granted a restraining order against him following their split.
In an interview with Hollywood Unlocked, Simmons explained how hard it was for her to come to the realization that she ended up in an abusive relationship. “You never know that you’re going to be that person until you’re in it, and then once you’re in it, I feel like you make excuses to stay,” she said. “You have to find someone who you can go to and talk to because if you’re stuck in it alone, you’re stuck in it,” she added. “It’s a tough place to be in.”
Simmons says it’s important to understand different forms of abuse. “Physical abuse is not the only thing that’s abusive,” she added. “Mental abuse is very real and can put you in isolation and I think it’s really important that you don’t get stuck there…I couldn’t believe I was that girl and I was going through that. I just couldn’t have ever imagined it. But, it was definitely a tough space for me to be in but I found my way out.”
The reality star says coming to terms that she was once a victim was hard
Simmons says she did not realize she was in an abusive relationship until she was already invested. The Pastry owner says it began with verbal abuse and being beaten down mentally before things turned physical. But even after being hit, she says she stayed because she loved her former partner.
Since going through her own healing process, she realized how easy it is for any woman, not matter their status, to be a victim of abuse. Coming to terms with what she experienced in her abusive relationship was a difficult pill to swallow. The Growing Up Hip Hop star shared her story in a recent YouTube video. She said:
People come into relationships with trauma, with their own issues and they expect whatever issues they had before they walked in that door to be gone once they get with you, when it comes back up every time. Even domestic violence and the stuff that it stems from, it’s not your job to fix a person. That person has to want to fix themselves. It’s not OK, it’s not love to be hit, it’s not love to be spoken to wrong and that verbal abuse can even be worse than domestic violence sometimes because it stays forever like a scar. I just never thought I would experience it and I did. And that was the hardest part, was accepting that this is what I’ve actually went through.
She says she was ashamed to tell her loved ones
Many of Simmons’ loved ones were unaware of the unhealthy relationship she was in. Simmons admits to being embarrassed.
“I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to talk about it until I healed, until I was ready, until I was able to speak about it,” she explained. “For the longest time, it was probably something that I hid from my friends, my family because I was going through it. And I don’t know if I was more afraid of what they would think, or I was just trying to figure it out for myself and kind of being in shock that it was happening. I just know so many women who do hide it and are going through it and are afraid to have the conversation.”
She began going to therapy and also speaking with a life coach. From there, she began opening up to those around her about her experience.
What was her breaking point to leave the relationship
Simmons says she continued going back to her abuser because she hoped things would change. She also admits she was madly in love with him. But once she began feeling depressed, she knew she had to make an exit.
“[I started to feel] not creative, not happy, just not like me – and I feel like when you lose yourself completely, it’s time to go or there needs to be a serious reorganization of the relationship because it’s not working,” she said. “But when it has to do with something like domestic and verbal abuse, it’s like, you gotta go or this person needs to go heal and return to you whole because you can’t put yourself through that.”
Simmons now uses her story to empower other women. She has a nonprofit organization, Angela’s Angels, which has a new initiative called Pressure Makes Diamonds. According to the initiative’s mission, the movement is “to help millennial women and teen girls develop a positive self-image and the confidence needed to confront and conquer their fears and achieve their goals.”
