Beyoncé Shared Why She Likes Having a Reason to Scream and Curse 

As a public figure, Beyoncé has always been guarded. She gives little insight into her personal life and keeps fans at arm’s length. She said she is generally a reserved people-pleaser who rarely curses or gets angry. Because of this, she loved that a film role gave her the opportunity to show an unfamiliar side of herself.

Beyoncé said she likes to have a reason to get angry

In 2008, Beyoncé played Etta James in the film Cadillac Records. She said she didn’t initially want to take the part, but it became therapeutic for her.

“I’m a people pleaser,” she told Elle. “I hold a lot of things in. I’m always making sure everybody is okay. I usually don’t rage; I usually don’t curse. So for me, it’s a great thing to be able to scream and say whatever I want.”

She said that playing James allowed her to show emotion in a way she never did in her personal life.

“Listen,” she said. “What’s that expression? I mean, I feel like you get more bees with honey. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated in my life. My way of dealing with frustration is to shut down and to think and speak logically. But playing Etta was a time when I didn’t have to do that. I could be loud and let it rip.”

Beyoncé said her portrayal was so unlike her normal self that her mother became uncomfortable.

“My mom had to leave the set,” she added. “I don’t normally curse. Maybe twice a year. I have to be really livid. Somebody saying things or scheduling something where I’m not in control.”

Beyoncé said the experience was emotionally exhausting 

Beyoncé liked playing a person who was so unapologetically herself.

“Etta was bold and unapologetic,” she said. “Whatever she loved, she did. She said whatever she felt.”

Still, while it was nice to let loose her anger, it was exhausting. She said it was one of the most draining periods of her life.

“It was freeing, but it was also the most emotionally draining time of my life,” she said. “Every day I would come home, my eyes would be completely swollen.”

She shared her anger publicly with ‘Lemonade’ 

Years after her role as James, Beyoncé let her anger loose on her album Lemonade. In it, Beyoncé deals with the emotional fallout of Jay-Z’s infidelity. She is furious and grief-stricken on the record. Jay-Z admitted that it wasn’t easy for him to listen.

“[T]he best place is right in the middle of the pain,” he told The New York Times Style Magazine, adding, “And that’s where we were sitting. And it was uncomfortable. And we had a lot of conversations. You know. [I was] really proud of the music she made, and she was really proud of the art I released. And, you know, at the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another’s craft. I think she’s amazing.”