Britney Spears’ 5 Worst Cover Songs
Britney Spears has given us some of the most memorable dance songs of the past 25 years. She’s also really bad at doing covers. She’s managed to ruin tracks from many different genres, including 1960s psychedelia, hard rock, and an a capella classic.
5. ‘The Beat Goes On’
In many ways, Spears is the heir to Cher. It only made sense for her to record “The Beat Goes On,” one of Cher’s most beloved hits from her days with Sonny Bono. However, the production on Spears’ version is horrid and the tune sounds out-of-place on one of the records that defined 1999.
At least Spears was staying in her lane with this one. She was a pop diva taking on the work of another pop dive. Many of her later covers were more awkward because she went out of her comfort zone.
4. ‘I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll’
Joan Jett’s version of “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” was already a cover, so it’s hard to say that the original song should have stayed off-limits. Despite this, Jett’s rendition of the track was one of the covers that ended all covers. Spears could have only done this song well if she recorded it as a piece of post-essentialist art with no rock elements whatsoever.
Instead, she went the worst route possible and made it just pop enough to be blasphemous and just rock enough to sound ridiculous coming from her. Some pop stars, like Olivia Rodrigo and Kelly Clarkson, can pull off rock. Spears is forever stuck in the club.
3. ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’
Y’know who liked this one? Mick Jagger. During a 2007 BBC interview, he was asked to name his favorite Stones covers. “I think Otis Redding’s ‘Satisfaction’ has got to be in there,” he said. “Aretha Franklin did a quite good version of ‘Satisfaction’ as I recall as well. Erm, and then. after that I can’t remember. Britney Spears did a good version of ‘Satisfaction.’”
This sort of rock ‘n’ roll sacrilege pleased no one. The rockists hated it and the pop fans probably don’t care about The Rolling Stones. Maybe Jagger was trolling us.
2. ‘Tom’s Diner’
“Tom’s Diner” by Suzanne Vega had a renaissance when Fall Out Boy sampled it in their hit “Centuries.” Spears jumped on the bandwagon with a slick dance cover of “Tom’s Diner.” The production is fine but why is this a dance track? The original was a melancholy slice-of-life. It doesn’t make for good twerking music.
Spears’ redux was produced by disco legend Giorgio Moroder. What a waste of a song. What a waste of talent.
1. ‘Hold Me Closer’
“Hold Me Closer” is a quickie cash-in mashup of three Elton John hits: “Tiny Dancer,” “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,” and “The One.” Nobody ever heard those songs and felt they should have been given to Spears. “Hold Me Closer” was an obvious attempt by John to recapture the success of “Cold Heart,” a mashup of his old hits he recorded with Dua Lipa.
Recycling is good, except when it comes to art. Spears’ collaboration with John could’ve been a triumphant comeback. Instead, it’s an unnecessary curio.
