All Britney Spears’ No. 1 Songs, Ranked Worst to Best
Ever since Britney Spears‘ first song took the world by storm, people were predicting her career would soon fizzle out. Instead, she was a regular hitmaker for 15 years, racking up five No. 1 singles in the process. While she’s given us some club classics, she’s also given us some vocals so bad they have to be believed.
5. ‘S&M’
“S&M” barely counts as a Spears song. The tune was originally a Rihanna solo cut, but star-studded remixes were all the rage in 2011, so Spears jumped on a remix of the song to increase its appeal. Spears’ music has long had a sadomasochistic subtext, so she made sense as a duet partner on “S&M.” Sadly, she recorded some of the worst vocals of her entire career for the track.
Spears can take comfort in the fact that her version of the song has been forgotten even though it topped the Billboard Hot 100. If you hear “S&M” on the radio, you’ll hear Rihanna’s solo cut. That’s for the better.
4. ‘Womanizer’
Being a Spears fan and disliking “Womanizer” makes you a bit of a heretic. That’s fine with me. I’ve never been one for total orthodoxy. While many fans listen to “Womanizer” and hear a catchy, fun single, I just hear a synthesizer trying its best to make my ears bleed.
“Gimme More” was a great example of Spears turning one word (“more”) into an entire song. She tries that trick again with “Womanizer” to no avail. The track lacks a decent groove and, by the time it’s over, the word “womanizer” is repeated to the point of meaninglessness.
3. ‘Hold It Against Me’
Everything about “Hold It Against Me” encapsulates the pop stylings of 2011. The tune has cheeky sexual lyrics, a dubstep breakdown, and the hardest dance beat ever to hit the Billboard Hot 100. If you think 2011 was a peak year for pop music (as I do), “Hold It Against Me” is pure ear candy.
The only real problem with the song is that Spears should have leaned into the tune’s humor. She sings a track based on an ancient pickup line with too much seriousness. Regardless, the power of the final chorus is incredible.
2. ‘3’
Some topics are overexplored in pop music. We’ve all heard a million hits about breakups, self-empowerment, romance, and the club. Here, Spears made the ultimate track about three ways, a great subject for pop songs that falls by the wayside. She approaches “3” with a campy burlesque style that suits the track perfectly.
“3” came out in 2009, but its unyielding synthesizers still sound futuristic. The weird reference to the folk group Peter, Paul and Mary is so out-of-left field we’re all still trying to make sense of it. Like all the best artists, Spears’ lyrics are up to interpretation.
1. ‘…Baby One More Time’
Surprise! “…Baby One More Time” topped the ranking! Every list of Spears’ best songs rates either “…Baby One More Time” or “Toxic” as her best work, but, alas, “Toxic” only peaked at No. 9.
Unlike the instrumental complex “Toxic,” “…Baby One More Time” is one of those songs that seems simple on the surface, but its brilliance reveals itself upon repeat listens. With one track, Spears combined the best of 1990s R&B and dance music, revolutionized pop, and made the rare bubblegum singe that everyone seems to like. Every subsequent pop star tried to write their “…Baby One More Time,” but few succeeded.
