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Fans everywhere are hoping for the best outcome in regards to Britney Spears‘ conservatorship hearing. The #freeBritney movement put a spotlight on the pop star’s ongoing conservatorship — controlled by her father Jamie Spears — she’s been trying to get out of. Spears spoke out for the first time in court on June 23, detailing her painful ordeal. Her words echo something she said in a 2008 interview about coming back from all of this — again.

Britney Spears said she’s ‘traumatized’ by the conservatorship

Britney Spears wears a red costume while performing on stage.
Britney Spears | JB Lacroix/WireImage

During the June 23 hearing, Spears publicly spoke out about the conservatorship for the first time in a Los Angeles probate court.

“I’ve been in denial; I’ve been in shock; I am traumatized,” she said per NY Times.“I just want my life back.”

The “Baby One More Time” singer requested she is freed “without having to be evaluated.” In her testimony, she explained why she hasn’t been to court saying, “I don’t think I was heard on any level when I came to court last time.”

“I truly believe this conservatorship is abusive,” she said. “I don’t feel like I can live a full life.”

In April, Spears’ court-appointed lawyer Samuel D. Ingham III requested she be allowed to speak to the judge directly. Spears said she didn’t know beforehand she could petition to end the ruling.

“I’m sorry for my ignorance,” she said, “but I didn’t know that. “It’s embarrassing and demoralizing what I’ve been through, and that’s the main reason I didn’t say it openly. I didn’t think anybody would believe me.”

It’s not the first time Spears said she’s ‘sad’ over loss of freedom

The conservatorship saga came after a 2008 incident that led to Spears on two separate psychiatric holds. Her father Jamie Spears petitioned for emergency temporary conservatorship while Spears was evaluated and treated. That time in Spears’ life came after divorcing ex-husband Kevin Federline, with whom she shares two children.

In the months after the divorce finalized, the custody disputes got heated, leading to an altercation in which the police were called. Then, Jamie Spears stepped in. After eight months, a judge ruled the situation be a permanent one.

“If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under right now, with all the lawyers and doctors and people analyzing me every day — if that wasn’t there, I’d feel so liberated,” she said in the MTV documentary Britney: For the Record. “When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening … It’s like, it’s bad. I’m sad.”

Spears once commented on her excessive ‘comebacks’

Later in 2008, however, the first single off her new album Circus — “Womanizer,” — took the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100. Around that same time, she also appeared on stage with Madonna during her Material Girl concert in LA. With Circus doing well and regular appearances scheduled, Spears seemed to be doing much better.

“This whole year has been a hell of a year for me. I have been working so hard on my album, but…I didn’t know exactly where I stood with everyone,” she told Glamour in 2008. She added that she “got a lot of strength [from the year].”

“I have ‘come back’ so many times, people are just like, Is this another one?… It’s kind of like a joke to me now.”

She continued: “You have to take it one day at a time, do the best that you can and enjoy yourself. I notice that if there are some times I’ve been stressed, because I’m human and stress about things, that affects your kids. So you have to make sure you’re a happy mom so they can be happy.”

Spears also mentioned that she hates “being around too many people,” and would “like to stop worrying so much, because I worry all the time.”

Will the court allow Spears the chance for another comeback?

Related

Everything You Missed From Britney Spears’ Conservatorship Trial

After 13 years under a conservatorship where Spears has had little-to-no control over her life, finances, and choices, Framing Britney Spears illuminated the ways many have failed the pop star. The documentary highlighted ways the media stereotyped and scrutinized Spears’ mental health with ruthless contempt.

In the time since, fans have rallied for Spears to be free. Her father released a statement through his attorney Vivian Lee Thoreen, saying:

“He is sorry to see his daughter suffering and in so much pain,” she said. “Mr. Spears loves his daughter, and he misses her very much.”

We don’t yet know how the judge will rule but in the meantime, we’re all hoping for the next Britney comeback.