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Demi Lovato opened up about her 2018 overdose in the YouTube docuseries Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil. Her recovery journey has included a moderation approach, with Lovato explaining in an interview with Paper magazine that trying to be a perfectionist in her personal life isn’t the right path for her.

Demi Lovato with director Michael D. Ratner at YouTube Originals Docuseries Demi Lovato: Dancing With The Devil premiere
Demi Lovato and director Michael D. Ratner | Rich Fury/Getty Images for OBB Media

Demi Lovato didn’t have a lot of control over her life before her overdose

During a March 21 CBS Sunday Morning interview, Lovato was asked, “How much of your life did you control?” before the overdose.

“I didn’t control any of my life at that period of time,” she said. “But yes, I also needed to grow up and take control and that’s something that I haven’t done until the past two years of my life, which is, I’m now in control of my finances, I’m now in control of the food that I eat, how often I work out.”

Lovato shared more insight with Paper about how important it’s been for her to be in control of her life, but said being perfect isn’t the goal.

“In my career, it benefits me to be a perfectionist,” she explained. “In my personal life, it definitely doesn’t. Having been in recovery from eating disorders, body image and perfectionism are not friends in my eyes, and so it’s been difficult to balance.”

“But for the most part it’s just something that you have to walk through with as much grace as possible,” Lovato added.

Demi Lovato calls her lifestyle ‘California sober’

Lovato revealed in her YouTube documentary Dancing With the Devil that she drinks and smokes marijuana in moderation following her 2018 overdose. She refers to the lifestyle as “California sober.”

In the documentary, she explained, “I’ve learned that it doesn’t work for me to say that I’m never going to do this again. I know I’m done with the stuff that’s going to kill me, right?”

“Telling myself that I can never have a drink or smoke marijuana, I feel like that’s setting myself up for failure because I am such a black-and-white thinker,” she continued. “I had it drilled into my head for so many years that one drink was equivalent to a crack pipe.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTCtTVDnfic
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She admits the moderation approach isn’t ‘one-size-fits-all’

Lovato shared during her interview with CBS Sunday Morning that her lifestyle approach isn’t for everyone.

“I really don’t feel comfortable explaining the parameters of my recovery to people because I don’t want anyone to look at my parameters of safety and think that’s what works for them, because it might not,” she explained.

“I am cautious to say that, just like I feel the complete abstinent method isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution for everybody, I don’t think that this journey of moderation is a one-size-fits-all solution for everybody, too,” Lovato added.

How to get help: In the U.S., contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration helpline at 1-800-662-4357.