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It’s been almost a year since HBO aired the eighth and finale season of the epic fantasy series, Game of Thrones. After a lengthy hiatus and much-anticipation, Season 8 did not live up to the hype. From rushed storylines to major missteps on-screen, fans of the series are still fuming from the way creators/showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss closed out the beloved show.

There were many irritating aspects of the final season of GoT. However, one of the most aggravating was the way that Daenerys Targaryen’s story came to end. Over the course of eight seasons, we watched the Mother of Dragons transform from a timid young woman into a fearsome leader and warrior. However, by the end of Season 8, she becomes a vengeful monster, mirroring the actions of her late father, The Mad King.

Though many of the actors on GoT have defended the way the series ended, Emilia Clarke, who portrayed Daenerys has just revealed her true feelings about Daenerys Targaryen’s death.

Daenerys Targaryen went insane by the end of ‘Game of Thrones’

Though she had spoken up for the most underprivileged in Westeros, freeing slaves, losing lovers, and fighting battles, in the end, Daenerys was destined to befall the same fate as her father. In the penultimate episode of GoT, “The Bells,” fans were horrified when Dany burned down King’s Landing and killing her rival, Queen Cersei Lannister.

In the series finale, having realized Dany had moved over into the dark side, Jon Snow (Kit Harington) kills the woman he loves by stabbing a dagger in her heart. “It’s not how anyone thought the show would end,” Clarke told Entertainment Weekly. “I cried. And I went for a walk. I walked out of the house and took my keys and phone and walked back with blisters on my feet. I didn’t come back for five hours. I’m like, ‘How am I going to do this?'”

Emilia Clarke believes Daenerys Targaryen made a grave error by teaming up with the Starks

Upon finding out that the man she loved, Jon Snow, was the true heir to the Iron Throne, Daenerys was never the same. Clarke believes that Dany’s tense alliance with the Starks ultimately led to her downfall.

“She genuinely starts with the best intentions and truly hopes there isn’t going to be something scuttling her greatest plans,” Clarke told EW. “The problem is [the Starks] don’t like her and she sees it. Suddenly these people are turning around and saying, ‘We don’t accept you.’ But she’s too far down the line. She’s killed so many people already. I can’t turn this ship around. It’s too much. One by one, you see all these strings being cut. And there’s just this last thread she’s holding onto: There’s this boy. And she thinks, ‘He loves me, and I think that’s enough.’ But is it enough? Is it? And it’s just that hope and wishing that finally there is someone who accepts her for everything she is and … he fu*king doesn’t.”

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Emilia Clarke is still annoyed by Daenerys’ death

Ultimately, Clarke tried to press on with her other projects following the Game of Thrones series finale. However, she now admits she was annoyed with Daenerys’ death and with the fact that Jon Snow got away with murder.

“When the show did end, it was like coming out of a bunker. Everything felt really strange,” she explained to the Sunday Times. “Then obviously for it to have the backlash it did…I knew how I felt when I first read it, and I tried, at every turn, not to consider too much what other people might say, but I did always consider what the fans might think—because we did it for them, and they were the ones who made us successful, so…it’s just polite, isn’t it?”