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Rory Gilmore was portrayed, during the run of Gilmore Girls, as the perfect teen and young adult. She was responsible, she was studious, and she was poised to do great things after she graduated from Yale. When fans met up with her in 2016, during the Gilmore Girls revival, her life had pretty much stalled out. Rootless and unsure of herself, Rory displayed some pretty toxic behaviors, especially when it came to her romantic life. If you think about it, though, those traits were there all along. Rory was indecisive and pretty toxic in her romantic life even as a teen.

Rory has never ended a relationship

Did you ever notice that Rory never actually put her foot down and ended a relationship? She didn’t end things with Dean when she should have. She left her relationship with Jess pretty open-ended after he took off on her. Those instances could be written off as immaturity. Still, the closer Rory got to adulthood, the less she was capable of putting her foot down and putting an end to a relationship.

When she and Logan fought inside a bar over Jess, they stop speaking. Rory didn’t think they broke up, though. She assumed they were just “taking some time,” Logan, on the other hand, had other thoughts. When Logan proposed, Rory decides to turn him down, but she still wanted the relationship to continue, sans a big commitment. Logan had to be the one to withdraw and walk away. Rory couldn’t even be bothered to end her relationship with Paul, regardless of the fact that Rory clearly felt nothing for him. That non-relationship finally ended when Paul finally stepped up and sent a breakup text message.

Rory was indecisive when it came to Dean

Dean and Rory broke up three separate times during the run of Gilmore Girls.  The first time, Dean ended the relationship when Rory can’t manage to say, “I love you” back. The second time, Dean threw a fit during the 24-hour dance-a-thon and ended the relationship because it was clear Rory was interested in Jess. The third time, Dean walked away from Rory because he realized he didn’t belong in her world any longer.

Dean got a lot of flack for ending his relationships with Rory. While there were a lot of moments where he was a horrible boyfriend and an all-around bad person, at least he was decisive, Rory could never end the relationship, even when she knew she should. Let’s be honest, Rory knew she didn’t belong with Dean while she was in college, and she also knew she wanted to be with Jess over Dean for months before Dean finally ended the relationship. She was indecisive, and, as a result, really treated Dean poorly.

Rory always wanted what she couldn’t have

Rory has a pretty toxic character trait; she always seems to want what she can’t have. Think about it. Rory wanted Dean once he was married to Lindsay. She wanted Logan when it was obvious that Logan was a playboy who wasn’t interested in settling down. When she finally got him, she turned down his proposal, only to end up carrying on an affair with him once he was engaged to someone else.

Rory clearly was always drawn to unavailable men, but it might not actually be her fault. Psychology Today argues that women who want unattainable men, whether they are unreachable because of another relationship or lack of desire, because they are insecure and often suffer from low self-esteem. Is it possible that Rory’s indecisiveness and interest in unavailable men have something to do with feeling like she’s not worthy of a happy ending? Maybe a second revival season will clear up that question.  

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