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Lorelai and Rory Gilmore might be among the most beloved mother-daughter duos on television, but Gilmore Girls fans know that they didn’t always treat each other so kindly. Although their blowout fights were far and few between, the times they did argue featured some harsh words and immature behavior on both sides. Their worst fight of all over Rory dropping out of Yale has become a frequent topic of conversation among fans. In a recent discussion, some fans said Lorelai was too “cruel” to her daughter during their estrangement.

Lauren Graham as Lorelai Gilmore and Alexis Bledel as Rory Gilmore in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life
Lauren Graham as Lorelai Gilmore and Alexis Bledel as Rory Gilmore in ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life’ | Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Rory and Lorelai had a huge fight over Yale in ‘Gilmore Girls’ Season 6

The rift began in season 5 when Mitchum Huntzberger (Gregg Henry) told Rory (Alexis Bledel) she didn’t have what it took to become a journalist. The hurtful comment led Rory to steal a yacht with Logan Huntzberger (Matt Czuchry) and spend the night in jail. After that incident, Rory finished her current semester at Yale and decided she needed time off. The end of the Gilmore Girls Season 5 saw Rory and Lorelai (Lauren Graham) enter a massive fight about dropping out.

As the show entered its sixth season, Rory moved in with her grandparents. For the next few months, Rory and Lorelai barely spoke. Rory stood her ground about taking time off while Lorelai froze her daughter out. She decided not to tell Rory about her engagement to Luke Danes (Scott Patterson) — which seemed to only make the fight worse.

Some fans say Lorelai treated Rory poorly during the rift

On Reddit, one fan shared images from the scene where Luke told Rory about the engagement, calling it “one of the saddest moments.” This led to a bigger discussion about Lorelai and Rory’s fight. In the comments, some users said Lorelai was too vindictive.

“Everyone rags on Rory these days, but god, when Lorelai thinks she’s been ‘wronged,’ she can be so damn cruel to the people she loves,” one person wrote. “Not telling your daughter that you’re engaged? Cutting off all contact and then getting surprised when she goes to another safe house like her grandparents? And then telling Luke to not talk to Rory and basically try to turn everyone against her? That’s not a punishment; that’s just spiteful and immature.”

Another person said it was “manipulative” of Lorelai to push Rory away until her daughter apologized first.

“I know Rory went to her grandparents, and that must have hurt Lorelai, but I dislike how she’s not OK with Rory returning home if she’s taking a break from Yale. That’s some conditional loving,” another user added.

Some fans also brought up a later scene where Rory told Lorelai how much it hurt that her mother didn’t tell her about the engagement.

“Rory’s felt sincere. She was hurt that Lorelai excluded her from maybe the happiest news Lorelai has had in her adult life,” one person commented. “Lorelai’s ‘Back at ya’ felt childish and flippant.”

Other ‘Gilmore Girls’ fans justified Lorelai’s behavior

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On the other hand, some people agreed with Lorelai’s decision. They tried looking at it from Lorelai’s perspective.

“Lorelai did react wrong, but … remember how Lorelai did everything she could to send Rory to a dream school to have the life she didn’t,” one person wrote. “And then Rory seemingly gave up and didn’t care. Lorelai is a mom, yes, and should’ve been there, but she felt like it was all for nothing.”

Which Gilmore girl was in the wrong will always be up for debate. But as one fan pointed out, this fight showed that there are multiple sides to an argument.

“This scene is a true testament to just how multi-dimensional so many of the characters on GG are. I love that no one on this series is perfect,” the person wrote. “They all do things that might not be how I respond to a situation, but I totally understand it from all points of view.”