‘Gilmore Girls’: Why Were Rory and Lorelai Such Bad Friends?
When Gilmore Girls aired (and to a greater extent during its peak), viewers fawned collectively over Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. The thought of a mother who got pregnant in her teens and worked hard to make a nice life for her and her baby while still maintaining a best friend-esque relationship with said child had audiences mesmerized.
However, after watching it a few more times, you start to realize that the mother and daughter weren’t always good people. Here’s why Rory and Lorelai were bad friends.
Rory Gilmore wasn’t the best friend in the world
During the first three seasons of Gilmore Girls, Rory Gilmore was a pleasant character. Her determination and her shyness were charming to a certain point. She was a high achiever and seemingly valued those around her. However, as time passed and she got absorbed into the upper-class world, Rory became an awful character and friend.
During her time at Stars Hollow High, Rory was close to Lane Kim, who was her only friend. The two seemed perfect for each other, but once she began seeing Dean, Rory became self-absorbed.
Her issues always seemed to take precedence over Lane’s own, and when Lane tried confiding in Rory, the latter appeared absent-minded and eventually drifted away from Lane for a period of time.
Her friendship with her former nemesis Paris Gellar at Chilton evolves, and Paris always had Rory’s best interests at heart, especially when they were at Yale. However, when the team at Yale Daily News plans to oust the tyrannical Paris, Rory distances herself from Paris before taking over Paris’ role as editor.
Rory also made friends with Lucy and Olivia during her senior year of Yale, but at one point lied to Lucy about her friendship with Lucy’s boyfriend, Marty.
Lorelai wasn’t a great friend either
Lorelai was touted as a great mom. After getting pregnant at 16, she left home and went on to make a name for herself, working hard to provide for her child. Lorelai’s friendship with Rory was always a high point in the series. However, she, too, had her shortcomings as a friend.
Starting with her own daughter, Lorelai tended to get moody and distant when Rory made mistakes. She and Rory always talked about the child going to Harvard, but when she finds out Rory applied to Yale, Lorelai throws a fit because she believes her parents are controlling her baby, refusing to see it from Rory’s point of view.
Secondly, when Luke’s nephew came to live with him, Lorelai became judgmental of Jess’s attitude, almost blaming Luke for it. As a parent herself, the best thing she should have done was to be supportive of someone who didn’t have any experience, especially with a teenager.
Third, her relationship with Michel Gerard always felt too professional despite Michel wanting them to bond more. Lorelai always favored Sookie more, and her relationship with Michel took a backseat to Sookie’s.
Even though she favored Sookie, Lorelai could sometimes be condescending toward her best friend and business partner, if not outright mean. From the time Lorelai made a snide comment about Sookie being single for a long period of time to talking down to her about business decisions, she wasn’t always the kindest to her.
Lorelai might have been a bad example
Lorelai was a dedicated, hardworking mom, but she did raise Rory from a very young age and didn’t have a lot of stable adult friendships to model for Rory. After all, when Rory was first forming her friendship with Lane, Lorelai was only in her early 20s.
Many young women in their early 20s are maintaining or outgrowing high school friendships while also meeting new people as an adult — an experience that was very different for Lorelai. This might have been why the younger Gilmores made a lot of mistakes in their friendships at the same time, rather than Rory learning from Lorelai.
Fans on Reddit have also criticized Lorelai for being so much of a best friend to Rory and not a mom and that it contributed to Rory’s poor friendship.
