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Of all the relationships on Grey’s Anatomy, the most beloved has to be the one between Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd. Despite a rocky beginning, they turned out to have a love so enduring that it even survived death. 

Despite this, they still had problems from time to time. During one of these conflicts, Meredith’s best friend Christina gave her some advice that viewers still love. It continues to be a popular quote today, and many people are inspired by it. 

But some fans think they got the actual meaning of what she said all wrong. 

‘Grey’s Anatomy’: Meredith and Derek

ELLEN POMPEO
ELLEN POMPEO | Gilles Mingasson/ABC via Getty Images

According to ScreenRant, the original power couple of Grey’s Anatomy got off to a rough start. Their first encounter was in a bar, and it led to what they both assumed was a one-night stand. 

But their attraction to each other survived the awkward morning after, when they discovered that he was her attending when she showed up for her first day as an intern. They went on to grow closer and closer, weathering Derek’s secret wife showing up, multiple break-ups, a miscarriage, and the general drama of life at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. 

When Derek died at the end of season 11, Meredith was heartbroken, and so were the viewers. She’s since dated a few men, but no relationship has ever come close to the intensity of what she shared with Derek. 

But although viewers remember their love as something special, the truth is that it wasn’t perfect. Derek may have been so handsome and charming that fans called him McDreamy, but he had his problematic moments too. 

‘You’re the sun’

Especially at the beginning of the series, Derek was sometimes selfish. In one episode, Meredith was struggling with his announcement that he planned to take a job in Washington DC. The fact that he decided to uproot his life was hard enough, but he’d just promised not to go for her sake. 

Refinery 29 reports that when Meredith went to her best friend with her problem, Christina gave her some advice that has become many people’s favorite quote from the show. 

“You are a gifted surgeon with an extraordinary mind,” she said, “Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he is not the sun. You are.”

People loved the message, and many took it as an encouragement for Meredith and women, in general, to take center place in their marriage. 

But some fans don’t think that interpretation is quite right. 

What does it mean to be the sun?

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Recently on Reddit, a fan posted the quote, sparking a discussion about what it actually means. Many people agreed that Christina wasn’t telling her to see herself as more important than Derek, but to value herself too. 

“Love this quote,” one responded. “I don’t think it has to do with Mer’s marriage as much as it has to do with her as a person and not losing herself and sight of her goals and how gifted she is.”

“She was talking about her as an individual that she needs to do what is good for her and not revolve around his needs,” another agreed.

One fan pointed out that Christina was using a metaphor of an eclipse, explaining, “he wasn’t saying “oh you’re the center of the solar system, be the center of the solar system”…It has everything to do with reminding Meredith that she is equally as capable as Derek is to shine and to have a career. Especially when Meredith has sacrificed her career to take care of the kids and to be a good mother (especially since she has anxiety about being a bad mother) whereas Derek doesn’t have to do that as much. That’s the metaphor. Not being the center. Just actually being able to shine.”

Despite the problematic aspects, Meredith and Derek’s relationship continues to be a fan favorite. Maybe it’s because Meredith eventually learned how to be the sun.