Jennifer Lopez Revealed Why She Wants a Partner Who ‘Wears the Pants’ in the Relationship

When Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were together the first time, she said he wore the pants in their relationship. This statement got some eye rolls, as it’s clear to most that Lopez is extremely career-driven. She acknowledged this and said her work life is the reason she likes to “submit” in her romantic relationships. 

Jennifer Lopez said she likes to fall into traditional roles in her relationship 

In 2003, Lopez and Affleck gave a joint interview as an engaged couple. When asked about their dynamic, Lopez said Affleck “wears the pants” in their relationship.

“Ben wears the pants,” Lopez told Access Hollywood. “He definitely wears the pants. We respect each other and that’s the important thing.”

In an interview later that year, Lopez further explained what she meant. She said that she was so dominant and driven in her career that she wanted someone to take care of her in her personal life. 

“It’s about being able to feel safe somewhere,” she told W Magazine. “That doesn’t mean I’m not a strong, independent woman. But I think when you’re in a relationship, you have to submit to a certain extent.”

Everyone who knows her says she is relentlessly hardworking

Given what those who know Lopez have said about her drive, it’s hardly surprising that she wanted some sort of reprieve at home.

“I’ve never seen anybody work as hard as her,” her longtime work partner Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas said. “She worked for every opportunity she’s ever had. She wasn’t given anything.”

Lopez has often described herself as a workaholic. She feels she has something to prove.

“I’m not one of those media darlings,” she told Harper’s Bazaar. “I didn’t get kissed into this business. I’m from the Bronx. I had to find my way, so I’ve always felt like I had to prove myself. Maybe that’s a good drive to have. I never settle for mediocre.”

Jennifer Lopez said men and women have different approaches to relationships 

Lopez said she has a traditional view of relationships. She had a preference for this dynamic, but she also felt it was inherent to the nature of men and women. She believes women are more focused on building a home life than men.

“It’s the difference between ‘me’ and ‘we,’” she said. “Men operate from their own universe, and women are focused on family, keeping it together. Because we’re caretakers by nature — we give birth, we have to take care of that baby — and men don’t have that experience.”

By contrast, she thought men were more drawn to working and making money.

“They have to bring home the bacon, that kind of stuff,” she said. “Those are different sensibilities.”

Despite this, Lopez has always been a significant breadwinner in all of her romantic relationships.