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Just before Jennifer Lopez embarked on the whirlwind that was “Bennifer,” she was in a high-profile relationship with Sean “Diddy” Combs. The pair dated on and off for two years before calling it quits for good in 2001. Lopez said that the relationship came at a good time in her life. It became so emotionally exhausting that she was glad she had been young throughout it.

Jennifer Lopez shared why she found her relationship with Diddy exhausting

Lopez and Diddy met on the set of her “If You Had My Love” music video. He quickly began pursuing her, but she took longer to warm up to him. Early on, before they were together, he told her he was in love with her.

“I was like, This guy is crazy. I said, ‘You don’t even know me,’” she told Vanity Fair in 2011, adding, “I kept him at a distance, but then he kept calling me and I guess it was exciting at the beginning. He was from New York, I was from New York, we just kind of spoke the same language, and we both had a love of music. He sort of mentored me and was very sweet in the beginning.”

Jennifer Lopez and Sean "Diddy" Combs hold hands and walk together. She wears a gold tank top and black leather skirt. He wears a black tank top and black leather pants.
Jennifer Lopez and Sean “Diddy” Combs | Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic, Inc

Their relationship quickly hit a public rough patch after a 1999 New York City club shooting. Lopez said this wasn’t the first time they’d had problems, though. According to her, they broke up many times throughout their relationship.

“It wasn’t a great time in my life,” she said. “It was scary. And we broke up many times before that, and got back together and broke up again, and nobody knew about it. It was very tempestuous. Towards the end it was emotionally exhausting. It was good that I was young.”

She admitted she made many mistakes across various relationships

Lopez admitted that in her relationships with Diddy and others, she made the same mistake over and over.

“I wasn’t in touch with who I was, what I wanted, what I deserved, what I needed. It was more about the other person for me, and that’s where I made my mistakes,” she said. “It wasn’t even their fault; it was me. I needed to get to where I could say I know what I want, I know what I need, I can’t let you do this, I can’t let this happen, I can’t let that happen.”

She said that learning to tell herself she was worth more than these relationships helped her. She developed a greater sense of what she wanted out of her romances. 

Jennifer Lopez is now reportedly disgusted by Diddy

Years after their split, Lopez reportedly wants nothing to do with her ex. This year, video footage of Diddy attacking his former girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, leaked. While Lopez has not publicly commented on the video, sources claim she found the footage horrifying.

Jennifer Lopez and Sean 'Diddy' Combs sit together at the VMAs. She wears a white bandana around her head with a white sports bra and white pants. He wears a baseball hat and white shirt.
Jennifer Lopez and Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs | Kevin Mazur Archive 1/WireImage
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“Among everything else that Jen is dealing with in her life, she is aware and has seen what Diddy did and is tremendously disappointed,” a source told DailyMail.com. “Jen is not going to address the accusations or take time to talk about them because it is not her story to tell … Not that people forget, but her relationship with him several years ago had its tumultuous ups and downs. What he has done and what he has been accused of is heartbreaking. It is disgusting for her to see that someone, who at one point in her life was someone she put so much trust in, has ended up turning into a very damaged human being. It is disturbing to see.”