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Jill Duggar knew that she was taking a risk by opening up about her painful past in her new memoir, Counting the Cost. But the former Counting On star decided to speak candidly about her experiences because she thought it might help other people, including her own siblings. 

Jill Duggar felt her story ‘could help other people’ 

In her book, Jill speaks candidly about growing up in an ultra-conservative Christian family. In the Duggar household, seemingly innocuous activities such as dancing were banned and her father, Jim Bob Duggar, was seen as the ultimate source of authority, even for his married adult children. Counting the Cost dives into the Duggar family’s rise to fame on 19 Kids and Counting, Jill’s reluctant starring role in the spinoff Counting On, the scandals involving her eldest brother Josh Duggar, and the falling out she had with her dad over her demands to be paid for her work on the show. 

For a person raised to obey her parents no matter what, deciding to speak publicly about her negative experiences with her family was difficult, to say the least, Jill recalled in the Oct. 24 episode of Christy Carlson Romano’s podcast Vulnerable (via YouTube). But her belief that others might benefit from hearing her story inspired her to write the memoir. 

“I think sometimes you will do things for other people that you would not do for yourself,” Jill said. “I realized that people were continuing to be harmed because of the belief system I grew up in.”

She added: “I felt like my story could help other people and even potentially my siblings or people who might have grown up [in] reality TV or parents who have kids in the spotlight. I felt like all of those people I potentially could help. So whenever the benefit outweighed the risk for me is when I felt I was ready.”

The former ‘Counting On’ star felt the ‘weight’ of being a model to her younger siblings

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In her 45-minute chat with Romano, Jill also spoke about the pressure she felt as one of the older Duggar kids. (Jill is the fourth of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s 19 children.) Not only did she help care for her younger brothers and sisters, but she was also expected to model good behavior to them. 

“We definitely had a weight that we would carry as the older siblings with so many younger ones looking up to us,” she said. The message from her parents was, “If you’re not making good decisions or ones we would approve of, then look at the little kids, they’re going to follow in your footsteps. If they have problems, it’s going to be your fault.”

“It’s not very healthy,” she said. 

Jill’s husband Derick Dillard is her ‘advocate’  

Jill’s relationship with her parents and some of her siblings is still rocky. But she has one important person in her corner. She calls her husband Derick her “advocate” and said she’s often relied on him to mediate difficult situations with her father. 

“Derick had to have some really hard conversations with my dad,” Jill said. That included threatening legal action against Jim Bob if he continued to harass Jill. 

“He was standing up to protect me,” Jill said. “I think my dad got the picture when Derick was telling him, ‘If you keep contacting her directly, then I’ll have to file a protective order.'”

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