Joaquin Phoenix Had Trouble Playing a Love Interest in ‘Her’ Because He Never Felt Any Real Heartbreak
Actor Joaquin Phoenix recalled facing some challenges trying to get into character in the Scarlett Johansson film Her. The actor admittedly felt very little heartache in his dating history, so he had very few personal experiences to pull from for the role.
Joaquin Phoenix didn’t know what it was like to feel heartbroken in a relationship
Phoenix ended up co-starring alongside Scarlett Johansson in his 2013 feature Her. The star portrayed office worker Theodore Twombly, who’d start a relationship with a computer operating system in the future. Phoenix’s character was in a particularly vulnerable state after dealing with a divorce from his soon to be ex-wife. But that plot point was something that Phoenix had a difficult time relating to.
He’s had a long dating history with a few notable celebrities like Anna Paquin and Liv Tyler. Tyler was the last partner he’d parted ways with, and even that break-up was an amicable split according to Phoenix.
“I know that when Liv and I met, it was for a reason,” he once told Cosmopolitan. “And at a certain point, I think we stopped evolving with each other, stopped progressing, and made a very mature decision to move on, even though there was still a great love there.”
The lack of drama in his relationships affected how he’d approach his Her character.
“To be frank, I’ve never had a relationship that affected me the way that this relationship affects Theodore — his previous relationship with Catherine, and the divorce,” Phoenix once told Rotten Tomatoes. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that affected by a relationship — so there was a part of me that was like, ‘What, it’s been more than a year? And you’re saying that I’m still affected by this?’ So it was something that was very foreign to me, ’cause I don’t think I’ve ever been maybe in a relationship that was that involved, you know what I mean?”
Joaquin Phoenix once compared acting to falling in love
Although Phoenix had never experienced real heartbreak, he’d fallen in love quite a few times. And his fellow partners had fallen in love with him.
But back when he became disillusioned with acting, Phoenix felt there were similarities between his profession and being with another person.
“Part of why I was frustrated with acting was because I took it so seriously,” Phoenix once told Time. “I want it to be so good that I get in my own way. It’s like love: when you fall in love, you’re not yourself anymore. You lose control of being natural and showing the beautiful parts of yourself, and all somebody recognizes is this total desperation. And that’s very unattractive. Once I became a total buffoon, it was so liberating.”
Joaquin Phoenix thought future wife Rooney Mara despised him on the set of ‘Her’
Ironically, Phoenix would meet his future life partner on the set of Her. Mara played Phoenix’s ex-wife in the feature who planned to divorce him. But when they met, Phoenix believed Mara didn’t like him. This prompted Phoenix to do something that he hadn’t done with his previous flings.
“She’s the only girl I ever looked up on the internet,” Phoenix told Vanity Fair. “We were just friends, email friends. I’d never done that. Never looked up a girl online.”
Phoenix soon discovered that his co-star was just extremely shy. The pair allegedly grew very close and comfortable, which quietly led to their relationship.
“They were talking to one another nonstop,” a source once told People. “Small talk between them. Then they went for their car and he’s holding her hand like it was unconscious. Like it fits. They seem a totally natural and easy couple.”
The couple would soon marry in a quiet ceremony, and have recently welcomed a child into their family.
