Why John Lennon Felt Guilty While Making ‘Double Fantasy’
Double Fantasy is the final album released by John Lennon before his 1980 assassination. The album was also Lennon’s first album after the birth of his and Yoko Ono’s son, Sean. He took a five-year hiatus from music after Sean’s birth, and the pride for his son comes through a few times in Double Fantasy. There is also regret expressed in the album as Lennon said he felt “guilty” while making Double Fantasy.
John Lennon felt guilty about his relationship with his first son while making ‘Double Fantasy’
John Lennon’s first son, Julian, was born in 1963 with his first wife, Cynthia. John and Julian had a complex relationship because John was always on the road with The Beatles. Even after The Beatles split, Lennon was still often not in the picture as he would be working on music in New York City and Los Angeles.
After a brief time apart, Lennon and Ono reunited in 1975 and had their second son, Sean. The former Beatle didn’t want to make the same mistakes he made with Julian, so he took time off from making music to focus on raising his son with Yoko. In his final interview before his death with RKO in 1980, Lennon said this was always on his mind while making Double Fantasy.
“I was guilty all through the making of Double Fantasy,” Lennon said. “We had his picture pinned in the studio because I didn’t want to lose contact with what I’d got. We had the picture up there all the time in between the speakers, so whenever you’re checking the stereo, he was looking at me all the time.”
Lennon wrote ‘Beautiful Boy’ as a love letter to his son
One of the songs on Double Fantasy is “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)”, which John Lennon wrote for Sean. It’s a moving song that features some of Lennon’s most thoughtful lyrics, like “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” In the 1980 Playboy interview, Lennon told David Sheff that Sean was really John and Yoko’s first child as they could both put their full time into raising him.
“Both of us wanted to be a parent for the first time is what it was,” Lennon said. “Even though both of us had children by previous incarnations. We’d both been so self-occupied. It was also wanting a child that was our child as opposed to a child – ’cause we could have adopted one, you know. Some people want a child, which I admire, too – people who have that generalized love. But we wanted our child.”
How did ‘Double Fantasy’ perform on the charts?
Double Fantasy was a massive success upon its release as many craved new music from the “Imagine” singer. Unfortunately, John Lennon could only reap the benefits briefly, as he was killed less than a month after its release in 1980. It became a worldwide success after his death, reaching No. 1 in many countries. It was No. 1 on the Billboard 200 and remained at the top for eight weeks, the longest time for any Lennon album.
