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John Lennon had a sweet message for his first son Julian Lennon — and it stuck with his ex-wife, Cynthia Lennon. Here’s what she wrote in her memoir about white feathers and the former Beatles member.

John Lennon had a son with Cynthia Lennon — Julian

Former Beatle John Lennon poses for a photo with his wife Yoko Ono and son Sean Lennon in 1977
Former Beatle John Lennon poses for a photo with his wife Yoko Ono and son Sean Lennon in 1977 | Vinnie Zuffante/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

He was a chart-topping musician to the world and a father to Julian Lennon. After getting married to Yoko Ono, John Lennon became a father to Sean Taro Ono Lennon.

Through his first marriage with Cynthia Lennon (then Cynthia Lennon), however, John Lennon had his first son. Much of John Lennon’s relationship with his children was described in Cynthia Lennon’s 2005 memoir. 

John Lennon asked his son to keep an eye out for a white feather — ‘you’ll know I’m there’

In her memoir John, Cynthia Lennon detailed sentimental moments between her son and the Beatles member. She explained “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” was inspired by one of Julian Lennon’s drawings. 

After the divorce, Cynthia, John, and Julian Lennon went to Disneyland. There was even one moment when John Lennon told his son to look out for white feathers after he died. 

“It was also in a moment of sentiment, but perhaps of tenderness and love too, that John once said to Julian, ‘If anything ever happens to me, look for a white feather and you’ll know I’m there, looking out for you,’” she wrote. “I think of John every time I see a white feather.”

After his split from Cynthia Lennon, John Lennon and Yoko Ono moved to New York City. It was there that the former Beatles songwriter was shot and killed in 1980. Yoko Ono offered to fly Julian Lennon to Manhattan. He appeared at the memorial service and was later gifted his father’s guitar.

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Julian Lennon described his relationship with his father

Although there were moments of “sentiment,” Julian Lennon later shared that he didn’t have the best relationship with his father. For the John foreword, the musician said that John Lennon often ignored his first family.

“Dad was a great talent, a remarkable man who stood for peace and love in the world,” Julian Lennon wrote. “But at the same time, he found it very hard to show any peace and love to his first family — my mother and me.” 

Even when John and Cynthia Lennon were still together, Cynthia Lennon wrote that her husband’s moods could be “unpredictable.” She recalled one moment when John Lennon yelled at 3-year-old Julian for eating messily.

Even in a letter to Cynthia Lennon, John Lennon wrote that it was a “slow process” feeling like a “real father.”

“I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about the times I’ve wasted not being with him — and playing with him — you know I keep thinking of those stupid bastard times when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other s*** whilst he’s in the room with me and I’ve decided it’s all wrong,” he reflected.