John Lennon Took Brian Epstein’s Death as Hard as the Loss of His ‘Soul Mate’

In 1967, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr received news that their longtime manager, Brian Epstein, died of an overdose. Epstein’s death was unexpected and deeply shook the band. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was with the band at the time and he told them to be happy and celebrate Epstein’s life. The band tried to do this, but Cynthia Lennon said her husband was still utterly devastated.

John Lennon was devastated by the death of Stuart Sutcliffe

Before The Beatles were a successful band, their lineup was a bit different. Starr joined the band in 1962; before him, Stuart Sutcliffe and Pete Best were members. The former was one of Lennon’s closest friends.

Not long after Sutcliffe left the band, he died of a brain hemorrhage. Lennon took the news hard when Sutcliffe’s girlfriend, Astrid Kirchherr, told him.

“John went into hysterics,” Kirchherr said, per The New Yorker. “We couldn’t make out . . . whether he was laughing or crying because he did everything at once. I remember him sitting on a bench, huddled over, and he was shaking, rocking backward and forward.”

According to Yoko Ono, Lennon had always viewed Sutcliffe as a “soul mate.”

John Lennon had a similar reaction to Brian Epstein’s death

Five years later, Lennon had a similar reaction to Epstein’s death. According to Cynthia Lennon, he was “numb” and “traumatized” when he first heard the news. She said he reacted in the same way that he had after Sutcliffe’s death.

“In the car, John and I held hands, trying to give each other strength,” she wrote in her book John. “Every now and then, John would mutter, ‘Oh, Christ, why? Why, Brian? I just can’t get it into my head.’ He was as low as he’d been after Stuart’s death, and Brian’s passing was yet another sudden loss. For The Beatles, it was the end of a hugely important chapter in their lives.”

Brian Epstein said John Lennon was initially his favorite Beatle

While Epstein liked each of The Beatles, he had a particularly close relationship with Lennon. They went on vacation together, a trip that sparked rumors they were having an affair. Epstein himself admitted to initially feeling closer to Lennon than the rest.

“I think Paul thinks I’m closer to John than I am with him,” Epstein said, per the book The Beatles: The Authorized Biography by Hunter Davies. “It’s not really true. It was earlier on, but now I love them all equally.”

Despite the rumors, Lennon claimed his relationship with Epstein was never physical. Still, he said it was almost like a love affair. They were close enough to feel drawn to one another.

“It was almost a love affair, but not quite,” Lennon said in The Beatles Anthology. “It was not consummated. But it was a pretty intense relationship.”