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We’ve been watching the Roloff family for years on Little People, Big World, and fans never would have suspected they’d eventually be a family divided. Matt and Amy Roloff, two married little people who raised their four kids together and held down Roloff Farms as a family business, were seemingly as close as ever when the program first aired. But now, Matt and Amy have since divorced — and we’ve seen how much tension is left between them on the current season of the show.

Amy’s certainly done her best to move on, but the split was incredibly difficult, and she explains as much in her autobiography, A Little Me. It turns out she lives with quite a few regrets, too, in regards to how things went down. Here’s what she wrote.

Amy’s divorce from Matt was very hard for her to move past

Matt and Amy Roloff
Matt and Amy Roloff | Thos Robinson/Getty Images for Discovery

It was back in 2015 when Matt and Amy announced they were splitting after 30 years of marriage. As they said in a joint statement, “Our kids and our ever-growing family, and the love and support we have for them, will be our priority. We will continue to work together side-by-side in the daily responsibilities for our many current ventures.” Unfortunately, it seems their commitment to working together post-split has been the source of a lot of tension. Amy still lives in the big farmhouse while Matt lives on a smaller property just feet away with his girlfriend, and now, the exes are constantly bickering about the fate of the farm and what to do with the property.

It’s not just their family business that’s been tough for Amy to deal with. She’s also had a hard time coming to terms with Matt dating Caryn Chandler, a former manager at Roloff Farms. Fans of LPBW have even called Amy out for speaking negatively about her ex-husband’s relationship, but it’s clear it’s seriously affected her.

She’s noted she ‘absolutely’ has regrets for the way things were handled

Amy gets seriously candid in her autobiography — and she admits that she has many regrets when it comes to how the divorce went down. “At first I felt like a complete failure at one of the most important relationships in my life,” Good Housekeeping notes she wrote. “It saddens me that my relationship had to end. It was a living death, and there are moments I feel like I’m still grieving a loss.”

Her relationship with Matt has clearly deteriorated over time, too — but Amy’s regrets are more centered around her own thoughts and feelings. “I regret keeping a lot of my thoughts and feelings to myself instead of expressing them in a constructive way. I regret that I was on the defense a lot instead of being more proactive,” she wrote. Amy also added that she regrets “building a wall” around herself in an attempt to protect herself emotionally, and she wishes she wasn’t so critical of herself and allowed those around her to help when they reached out.

Amy feels hopeful for a future with her current boyfriend, however

While she listed off her regrets in the book, it’s not all bad for Amy. “I’m glad I don’t have the kind of regrets that would have kept me stuck in the mind-set of if only . . . or should ofcould ofwould of kind of thoughts,” Good Housekeeping notes she wrote. And now, thanks to her constant faith in God and her loving family, she’s been able to pull herself out of her rut and move forward.

Of course, her boyfriend of nearly three years, Chris Marek, helps too. While Amy stated in the past that she never anticipated dating again, meeting Chris was the turning point she needed to know love after divorce was possible for her — and there may even be some talk of remarriage in the future. She added, “My life continues to have purpose and value, and I matter. I’m grabbing life with open arms and an open heart of gratitude, appreciation, and love.”

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