‘Nonperson’ Prince Harry Wanted Royal Family ‘Respect’ That Came With Marriage
TL;DR:
- Prince Harry shared that members of the British royal family aren’t “fully vested” until marriage in Spare.
- Not interested in the “perks,” Prince Harry wanted the “respect” that came with marriage.
- “As a confirmed bachelor I was an outsider, a nonperson within my own family,” Princ Harry said.
Prince Harry’s years as a bachelor made him a “nonperson” in the royal family. What the Duke of Sussex had to say in Spare about life before marriage. Plus, how Meghan Markle became the “exception” to “firm rules” on relationships.
Royals become ‘fully vested’ members of the royal family upon marriage, according to Harry
Harry opened up about royal life in his best-selling — and record-breaking — memoir, which debuted in January 2023. He explained before marrying the Duchess of Sussex he’d been viewed as a “nonperson” in the family’s eyes.
“You weren’t a fully vested member of the Royal Family, indeed a true human being, until you were wed,” he said (via Penguin Random House). Marriage, he explained, came with certain “perks.”
Take Harry’s older brother, Prince William. When the now-40-year-old married Kate Middleton in April 2011, “they became a Household.”
“As such were entitled to more staff, more cars, bigger home, grander office, extra resources, engraved letterheads,” Harry said.
Prince Harry ‘didn’t care about’ the ‘perks’ of marriage, ‘did care about respect’
Royal marriage “perks” weren’t of interest to Harry. Although the potential it had to change how he’d be treated — and viewed by relatives — did.
“I didn’t care about such perks, but I did care about respect,” he said. “As a confirmed bachelor I was an outsider, a nonperson within my own family. If I wanted that to change, I had to get hitched. That simple.”
Harry’s life as a bachelor ended in July 2016 when he met Meghan. They started dating and, eventually, moved in together at Nottingham Cottage. After saying, “I love you,” to Meghan in September 2017 and asking Queen Elizabeth II’s permission to marry, Harry proposed in their backyard.
Then came a November 2017 engagement announcement featuring a photocall and the couple’s first-ever on-camera interview together. Finally, on May 19, 2018, they became husband and wife on May 19, 2018, at St. George’s Chapel on the grounds of Windsor Castle.
Meghan Markle the ‘shining exception’ to the ‘firm rules’ on relationships
Dating rules, what dating rules? That seemed to become Harry’s attitude after he first saw Meghan on a friend’s Instagram and met her. Up until then, he’d always told himself there were “firm rules” to follow when it came to relationships.
“The main one was that you absolutely must date a woman for three years before taking the plunge,” he said.
“But Meg,” the 38-year-old explained, “seemed the shining exception to this rule” and, in fact, “all rules.”
“I knew her straightaway, and she knew me. The true me,” Harry said. “Might seem rash, I thought, might seem illogical, but it’s true: For the first time, in fact, I felt myself to be living in truth.”
