Prince Harry ‘Smothers’ His Children With ‘Love and Affection’ So They Don’t Experience the Trauma He Did
Prince Harry opened up about being a father and how his childhood has shaped his parenting decisions. Harry is taking a different approach versus what he experienced in the royal family and says he wants to smother his children with love.
Prince Harry says he smothers his children with love, which is far different than his upbringing
During a March 4 virtual book event, Prince Harry discussed his memoir Spare with Dr. Gabor Maté, author of The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. Harry shared his desire to “smother” his children Archie and Lilibet with “love and affection,” which is very different from his upbringing.
Harry said he doesn’t want to pass his trauma on to his children as he didn’t have a lot of physical affection with members of the royal family when he was growing up.
When asked how that experience influences his parenting style, Prince Harry explained, “It leaves me in the position how as a father, I have two kids of my own, making sure that I smother them with love and affection.” He jokingly clarified that he doesn’t “smother them to the point that they’re trying to get away.”
He continued, “But in the sense that I as a father feel a huge responsibility to ensure that I don’t pass on any traumas or negative experiences I’ve had.”
Harry added, “And that’s work, that’s putting in the work, and daily, being conscious of my behavior, of my reactions to both of my kids.”
Harry believes his children would suffer if they didn’t have displays of physical affection
The Duke of Sussex said therapy has been helpful in being a better parent. “There are times when I catch myself in a moment when I should be smothering them with that love and in that moment, I might not be, reminding myself [to],” he explained.
Harry added, “I wouldn’t have been as aware of it had I not done the therapy and work that I’ve done.”
When asked his thoughts about the impact on his children “not getting the hugging the way you didn’t get it,” Prince Harry predicted it might be similar to his experience. “I don’t know what the impact would be, but I imagine the result would be similar,” he said.
He continued, “That’s why, again, I am grateful to have been able to change my environment, which I fully appreciate that not everyone can do, because it comes down to resource.”
Harry added, “To be able to change the root cause of so much of those issues, to be able to up, move, that to me, feels as though it gives me much more of a chance, and my wife, more agency as parents, to be able to bring our kids up in a way that’s really beneficial and good for them.”
Harry said he and Meghan Markle ‘do the best’ as parents, ‘learning from our own past’
Prince Harry admitted his childhood did have good moments, saying he had “an incredible childhood, elements of it,” but noted, “elements of it were incredibly painful” too.
He added, “We only know what we know, and for myself and my wife, we do the best we can as parents — learning from our own past and overlapping those mistakes, perhaps, and growing to break that cycle.”
