Queen Elizabeth Silently Communicated Her Disapproval, According to a Book: ‘Felt Like an Eternity’
A “withering” stare is all it took from Queen Elizabeth II for staff to know they’d fallen out of favor with the late monarch. According to a book, the queen deployed what aides simply referred to as “‘the stare’,” and they quickly got the message.
The queen’s ‘long and withering look’ known as ‘the stare’ hinted at her disapproval
Author and royal expert Katie Nicholl revealed in her 2022 book, The New Royals: Queen Elizabeth’s Legacy and the Future of the Crown, how the queen communicated her disapproval without so much as a word.
“While the Queen rarely expresses displeasure, aides who have worked closely with her refer to ‘the stare,’” Nicholl wrote (via The Mirror). Spoiler: It was very awkward for her staff.
“According to one former member of the Household: ‘You’d know if you were out of favor or if the Queen didn’t like something because of what we called the stare.’”
It was a “‘long and withering look from Her Majesty delivered in total silence, and that would fix you for what felt like an eternity.’”
Queen Elizabeth’s tone of voice also hinted at her disapproval
The queen’s brutal stare wasn’t, per author Karen Dolby, the only way she showed her displeasure. Dolby told The Sun in 2019 that while the late monarch would never verbally disapprove, her tone of voice could indicate otherwise.
“I think that she tends to avoid confrontation, and she probably maintains a polite dignity whatever,” Dolby said.
“I heard that she won’t necessarily openly disagree with someone. But [the Queen] has a very specific way of saying, ‘oh, really’ or ‘fascinating’ or ‘thrilling.’”
“It’s all in the tone and intonation and the pause between saying it and the look she gives as to whether she actually agrees with you or not,” the author of Queen Elizabeth II’s Guide to Life explained.
The late monarch’s family even had trouble deciphering the queen’s ‘unreadable’ face
In Spare, Prince Harry’s January 2023 memoir, the Duke of Sussex recalled how his grandmother’s choice of words had him confused when he asked permission to marry Meghan Markle.
Harry worked up the courage to ask the queen’s permission to marry his wife, the Duchess of Sussex, during a weekend at Sandringham in the fall of 2017.
“‘Granny, you know I love Meg very much,’” he recalled saying. “‘And I’ve decided that I would like to ask her to marry me, and I’ve been told that, er, that I have to ask your permission before I can propose?’”
“‘You have to?’” the queen asked, to which Harry confirmed both his staff and hers had confirmed as much. Then a moment of silence before Queen Elizabeth remarked, “‘Well then, I suppose I have to say yes.’”
Harry went on to describe how, at this point in the conversation, he simply “stared” at his grandmother’s “unreadable face.”
“You feel you have to say yes? Does that mean you are saying yes? But that you want to say no?” he remembered thinking to himself. “Was she being sarcastic? Ironic? Deliberately cryptic? Was she indulging in a bit of wordplay?”
