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Despite her tough exterior, Dorinda Medley from The Real Housewives of New York City breaks down after realizing she and boyfriend John Mahdessian are truly over.

Medley told the cast the couple parted ways, even joking with Sonja Morgan about the Page Six article that reported about the split. She later became argumentative with Tinsley Mortimer during a wine tasting about not wanting to share everything about the breakup.

Dorinda Medley, Luann de Lesseps from 'RHONY'
Dorinda Medley, Luann de Lesseps|Ralph Bavaro/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

But in a preview clip, Medley becomes emotional in a private moment with Luann de Lesseps. Medley shares that she just spoke to Mahdessian, which made the realization that the couple parted ways even more realistic. And she’s feeling alone and vulnerable.

Speaking to John Mahdessian brings the emotion

Medley can’t really articulate the pain she is feeling to de Lesseps. She finally finds the words. “Just that I wanna be left alone,” she says through her tears. Medley talked to Mahdessian but thinks she needs some time alone. “You never wanna be a bad person when you leave something,” she says to de Lesseps. “You always wanna be good. My mother always says, ‘Leave a party the best person.'”

“I feel like you feel bad for John,” de Lesseps shares. “And that’s no way to make a decision.” As they talk de Lesseps struggles to open a bottle of wine. She gives up and plunks the bottle down in front of Medley along with the opener suggesting she give it a whirl.

But instead, Medley says holding back her tears, “It’s sad.” She finally breaks down. As she tears up, de Lesseps tells her, “Of course it’s sad. You were together a long time.”

“By not talking to John I can kind of get through it,” Medley says in a confessional. “And then when I talk to him, I realize like that we’re broken up and he’s not part of my life. ” She adds that, “It’s sad. And it’s emotional. And I’m alone again.”

Why did the couple split?

The writing was on the wall this season as Medley shared with several people that she and Mahdessian were living separate lives. “The breakup with John is sad,” Medley shared in a previous confessional. “I mean it’s terrible. But I also know that I have to do what’s best for me now. And I’ve realized that my expectation levels have grown. This is what I want now, this is what I need. And I need to find the right partner that’s willing to be engaged in that. And I don’t think that’s bad. I think that’s honesty.”

Medley described the breakup to Sonja Morgan in a previous episode as the two strolled through the park. “There’s no big fight, but I feel bad because you know, John feels terrible because we love each other,” she shared. “I love him and I don’t know what will come of it.”

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The cast also sees how much Medley is missing her late husband Richard who died in 2011. Some of the cast dines at a restaurant where Medley and her late husband used to frequent. She talks fondly about him as the others note that she seems to be missing him more than ever.

The Real Housewives of New York City is on Monday at 9/8c on Bravo.