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Madonna and Sean Penn were once in a high-profile and tumultuous that they couldn’t make work despite their efforts. According to Penn himself, he might not have even gotten to truly know Madonna until after their divorce.

Sean Penn once shared he had no idea what happened during his marriage with Madonna

Madonna and Sean Penn leave rehearsals for their play 'Goose and Tom Tom'.
Sean Penn and Madonna | Vinnie Zuffante/Getty Images

Penn and Madonna didn’t spend too much as a couple before they got married, which might’ve cost them later on. They met on the set of the pop singer’s “Material Girl” video in January 1985, then married several months later. Their marriage didn’t last long, however. Madonna first filed for divorce from Penn in 1987 before withdrawing the documents. But she would later officially divorce the actor two years later.

In an interview with Oprah, Penn explored the source of his and Madonna’s divorce with the media mogul. Although he still seemed to care about his ex-wife a great deal, he admitted that the marriage was far from a fun time.

“It was a good thing. Well, it was a miserable marriage, but I like her a lot. It got me steps further and clearer into knowing what I wanted. I still had a lot of demon doors to go through,” Penn said.

He added that he was extremely unprepared for what marriage with Madonna would actually be like. Especially at the height of the singer’s popularity.

“I met her on the shoot of that video. Madonna had done ‘Like a Virgin’, so she was a phenom, but nothing could have told anybody what would happen next,” Penn said. “I describe that marriage as loud. That’s how I remember it. And frankly, I don’t recall having a single conversation in four years of marriage. I’ve talked to her a couple of times since, and there’s a whole person there. I just didn’t know it.”

Madonna and Sean Penn broke up after disagreeing on traditional gender roles

Not too long ago, author Mary Gabriel wrote the Madonna biography Madonna: A Rebel Life . Segments of the book focused on the artist’s marriage to Penn, and the circumstances that led to their divorce. According to Gabriel, it appeared Madonna’s meteoric success and growing fortune might’ve played a significant role.

“In the three years since they [Madonna and Sean] had met she had gone from being an up-and-coming pop star to being the wealthiest female entertainer in the world,” Gabriel wrote.

Madonna’s growing fame and fortune challenged the vision Penn might’ve had for a husband and wife.

“Their expectations for their relationship had also diverged. She wanted a marriage of equals. He had a strong streak of traditionalism that required him to be the ‘man,’” Gabriel said.

Madonna’s superstardom only caused further distance between herself and her husband until they felt they had no choice but to part ways. But it was noted that the two took equal accountability for how things ended.

“Years later both took responsibility for the marriage’s demise. Penn described himself as an angry young man during that period and admitted he was hard to live with. For her part, Madonna said she hadn’t been ready to be married,” the author noted.

Sean Penn found it much easier repairing his friendship with Madonna than some of his other ex-wives

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Penn and Madonna are in good terms nowadays, with Penn declaring that he still loved the singer deeply. He credited the fact that they didn’t have children for their seamless reconciliation sometime later.

“It turns out it’s a lot quicker to repair a friendship after divorce if there are not kids involved,” Penn told The New York Times.

In comparison, it was much more difficult repairing his friendship with ex-wife Robin Wright, who he shares two kids with.

“It took Robin and I quite a while,” Penn added. “There was a lot of drama. Much more important to repair it if there are kids involved, but no easy swing, right?”