‘Sex and the City’: Did Mr. Big Cause All of the Trouble in Carrie and Aidan’s Relationship?
Carrie Bradshaw posed an incredibly complicated question in the most recent episode of And Just Like That…., the Max reboot of Sex and the City. Now that her love affair with Aidan Shaw is renewed, she wonders whether Mr. Big was a big mistake all along. The question and the way the storyline played out in the most recent reboot episode has angered some Sex and the City fans. Several have taken to social media to lambast the show for throwing away years of emotional build-up by suggesting Carrie and Mr. Big’s marriage was a big mistake. Carrie’s question got us wondering, though. Had Mr. Big not come along when he did, would Carrie have been happy in her relationship with Aidan in 2001? We went looking for evidence in Sex and the City, and you might be surprised by what we found.
Carrie was already traumatized by Mr. Big when she met Aidan
Carrie and Aidan got off to a seemingly rocky start in season 3 of Sex and the City, but we have to wonder if that had anything to do with Aidan and Carrie’s compatibility. Aidan was available, kind, and committed from the very start. Sure, Carrie dealt with feelings of uneasiness in the relationship, but that had more to do with her previous experience than anything to do with Aidan.
If Carrie hadn’t met Mr. Big first, would she have felt the same uneasiness around Aidan? We don’t think so. We could argue that Carrie was traumatized by her experience with Mr. Big and how quickly he moved on from her. That might explain why she didn’t settle down with Aidan right away.
Despite feelings of uneasiness, she was wholly committed to Aidan until Mr. Big popped back up. She wasn’t the one who pursued Mr. Big after she got together with Aidan. He hunted her down. While it’s true that she willingly entered into the affair, she didn’t go looking for it. In fact, she actively tried to avoid her ex. He showed up at her home to pursue her.
Carrie held back in her relationship with Aidan because the timing wasn’t right
Everything was going well enough when Carrie and Aidan reunited in season 4 of Sex and the City. Then, Carrie made a catastrophic misstep. She didn’t cut Mr. Big out of her life. While she insisted she had to maintain the friendship, we think it was an awfully big ask. Her decision to keep Mr. Big in her life led to feelings of insecurity in Aidan.
That decision and Aidan’s insecurity largely influenced their engagement and eventual breakup. We feel fairly certain that Carrie may have been willing and enthusiastic about marrying Aidan if only he had asked a year later. The pace of the relationship felt forced to Carrie because it was, and it was forced because of Mr. Big.
Still, Carrie didn’t go looking for Aidan again
If it weren’t for Mr. Big, many negative moments between Carrie and Aidan probably wouldn’t have happened. That doesn’t mean he was her one great love, and Mr. Big was a massive mistake, though. One clue suggests that Aidan wasn’t a bigger love than the iconic Mr. Big.
While Mr. Big broke Carrie’s heart repeatedly, she always went looking for him again. Whether she pursued another romantic relationship with him, engaged him in a friendship, or sought him out for sex, she always found a way to stay in Mr. Big’s life. She never bothered to do the same with Aidan.
Once she and Aidan broke up, he seemingly disappeared from her thoughts. She didn’t pursue him. She didn’t keep running back to him, and she didn’t engage him in pleasantries. Her life moved on from Aidan in a way that it never quite did from Mr. Big.
So, was marrying Mr. Big a big mistake?
So, in the end, was Carrie’s marriage to Mr. Big a big mistake? We don’t think so. In fact, we don’t think that’s really what Carrie meant when she suggested Big was a “big mistake” while talking to Miranda. It seems plausible that she was pondering whether she missed out on a good life with Aidan because she was so heavily invested in her cat-and-mouse game with Mr. Big during her time with Aidan.
Mr. Big remains an important character from Sex and the City, and even in death, he appears to be heavily influencing Carrie’s life. As Seema Patel pointed out, Carrie has had two great loves, and we can’t think of either one of them as a mistake, big or small.
