‘Sex and the City’: In Defense of Aidan Shaw
Aidan Shaw has fallen into an interesting category; he is officially one of TV’s disliked “nice guys.” When Aidan first graced the screens on Sex and the City, fans largely swooned over the sexy furniture designer. Decades later, some of his behaviors feel a little more “toxic” than “nice,” argue some fans. Now, just a few months away from his return in And Just Like That…, fans are again talking about Aidan. We feel he’s getting some bad press, so we are here to defend Aidan Shaw.
Aidan was good at setting boundaries and listening to Carrie early on in their relationship
Over the years, some Sex and the City fans have argued that Aidan Shaw was controlling and demanding, even during his early relationship with Carrie. They point to his refusal to date a smoker as proof that he wanted to change Carrie. If you think about it, Aidan wasn’t controlling; he was good at setting boundaries. Aidan never told Carrie to quit smoking. He stated he couldn’t date a smoker. She offered to stop, and he accepted that offer.
Aidan also respected Carrie’s boundaries, or, at the very least, he tried to listen to what she wanted. When she grew anxious about him being too “available,” he backed off as she instructed. When Carrie wanted him to continue showing her attention, he did just that. Aidan was, overall, pretty respectful of Carrie and her wants and needs, even when she disrespected the very basic rules of their relationship.
Carrie didn’t respect Aidan’s decision to end their romance
Carrie told Miranda Hobbes, Samantha Jones, and Charlotte York that she understood why Aidan had ended their relationship. She said it was clear that she hurt him, and he wouldn’t get over it. Carrie had a bad habit of revisiting relationships past, though.
After seeing her former love with another woman, she actively set out to reconnect with him. Eventually, he agreed to give their relationship another shot, but it took some convincing. We don’t think Carrie was completely to blame for how their second chance at love unfolded. After all, Aidan did rekindle things willingly. Still, we can’t help but wonder what would have happened if she had left well enough alone.
He was never particularly unkind to Carrie, even when she hurt him
Carrie hurt Aidan far more than he hurt her in the grand scheme of things. She broke his heart twice. Carrie cheated on Aidan with Mr. Big and then actively chased him down to give their relationship a second try. She agreed to marry him without any real intention of going through with it. He basically upended his life to accommodate her the second time around.
Despite all of that, Aidan was never awful to Carrie. He never retaliated, and even after moving out, he willingly sold her back her apartment at the price he paid for it. Overall, Aidan handled the end of their relationship with a great deal of dignity and compassion for Carrie. We have to give him credit for that.
Now, our feelings about Aidan are subject to change, depending on how And Just Like That… season 2 crafts his storyline. Based on on-set photos, romance is clearly in the air, but how the former flames got there remains unknown. For now, we’ll say Aidan Shaw deserves defending. Please don’t hold us to it, though.
