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The Pioneer Woman star Ree Drummond has been married to Ladd Drummond since 1996. After all that time, it’s safe to say she knows a thing or two about relationships. Here’s the marriage advice the Food Network cook shared with her eldest daughter, Alex Drummond, before her wedding day.

Ree Drummond says her first year of marriage was rough

Robin Roberts and Ree Drummond
Robin Roberts and Ree Drummond | Fred Lee/Walt Disney Television via Getty Images
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In her book Frontier Follies, Drummond shares that she and Ladd had a bumpy start to their marriage. She admits the first year “excelled at being lousy.” Drummond says part of their struggles was due to losses in the commodity market. This resulted in Ladd’s portfolio taking a big equity hit.

When Drummond got home from her honeymoon, she says she was feeling a bit “disoriented” and had a tough time getting used to life on the ranch. The various animals sounds (like the sound of mice in the walls) were almost too much for her to bear.

Drummond became pregnant shortly after the wedding. Around the same time, her parents announced they were getting divorced. Drummond says she felt guilty she couldn’t help Ladd around the farm when he needed her most.

Ree Drummond’s relationship advice

Alex will be tying the knot in May, so The Pioneer Woman star decided to gather marriage advice from herself as well as friends and family. Drummond had great marriage advice for her eldest daughter. Here’s what she had to say in The Pioneer Woman magazine:

Although we’re told marriage is a 50/50 thing, I’ve found approaching it as 100/100 is even better. There will be times when one of you can’t bring or give as much to the marriage as the other, whether because of illness, fatigue, stress… and during those times, it’s good to think of it as 100/100 so you can fill in each other’s gaps.

Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman magazine

The Pioneer Woman says this helped her marriage

Drummond and her husband follow routine that has helped them keep their marriage on track. Whenever they have a disagreement, this one thing usually helps them regroup and return to their previous state. The Pioneer Woman told People she and Ladd make sure their feet touch when they’re lying in bed. It’s a way for them to make up, assure each other things are OK between them, and communicate that they still love each other:

“We don’t go to sleep in each other’s arms—we like our space—but our feet always touch,” says Drummond. “I know that if our feet touch before we go to sleep at night, we’re not going to bed upset or angry. If we’ve had a little disagreement, as long as our feet touch, it’s all good.”

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