Why Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s ‘Christmas Canon’ Is the Laziest Hit Ever

The best Christmas music is heartwarming. The Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s “Christmas Canon” is a shockingly cynical rebrand of an earlier piece of classical music. The tune is awful — but it’ll stick with us forever.

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s ‘Christmas Canon’ is 1 of many songs based on this tune

Pachelbel’s Canon is one of the most popular pieces of classical music today. In his 2020 book A Sound Mind: How I Fell in Love with Classical Music (and Decided to Rewrite its Entire History), Paul Morley discussed the origin of the piece. “It was written possibly for his mentee Johann Bach’s (J. S. Bach’s father) wedding in 1694, more likely for just the kind of ordinary domestic function Telemann’s Table Music was designed for, and after being rediscovered in the 1920s, it became a wedding-ceremony favorite, a little less used than ‘Here Comes the Bride,'” he said.

Morley said that many popular tunes were based on Pachelbel’s Canon. “Numerous pop songs, including ‘Let It Be,’ ‘No Woman No Cry,’ ‘I Should Be So Lucky,’ ‘Go West,’ ‘Streets of London,’ ‘All Together Now,’ and ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ were influenced by the structure, chord sequence and mood of the work, and pop artists from Procol Harum to Aerosmith, Coolio, Green Day, Spiritualised, Avril Lavigne, the Spice Girls, and Maroon 5 have made good use of it,” he said. “Pop producer Pete Waterman of Stock Aitken Waterman, whose biggest hits all appropriated the canon’s magnetic two-bar bass pattern and repeated melody, called Pachelbel ‘the godfather of pop.'”

Perhaps the most obvious rewrite of Pachelbel’s Canon is the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s “Christmas Canon.” Its title certainly isn’t trying to hide anything. However, honesty doesn’t make the song any better. If you look at the song in its greater musical context, it seems intolerably lazy. 

‘Christmas Canon’ is bad but it’s not going away

Here’s how “Christmas Canon” was made. First, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra reused a public domain classical piece. While The Beatles, Bob Marley, and others drew inspiration from Pachelbel’s Canon, they wrote songs that could not be mistaken for it. On the other hand, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra couldn’t be bothered to take any liberties with its instrumentation.

The only difference between Pachelbel’s Canon and “Christmas Canon” is a children’s choir singing about Christmas. Radio stations never stop playing Christmas songs in November and December. All the Trans-Siberian Orchestra did was write some generic Christmas lyrics and now they’ll get radio play every year for eternity.

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra regurgitated their regurgitation

“Christmas Canon” was not a hit on the Billboard Hot 100. However, it appeared on two hit records. One was The Christmas Attic, which reached No. 60 on the Billboard 200 and lasted on the chart for 47 weeks. It charted a long time for a record that never hit the top 40.

Since the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is a progressive rock band, it’s no surprise they released a rock version of “Christmas Canon.” “Christmas Canon Rock” appeared on the group’s record The Lost Christmas Eve. That album climbed to No. 26 on the Billboard 200 and lasted on the chart for 64 weeks. “Christmas Canon Rock” appeared on the more popular album. However, the original “Christmas Canon” receives plenty of radio play while the rock redux does not.

“Christmas Canon” is pleasant enough — it just took very little effort to produce.