Vanessa Ray and Her Husband Worked Through a Difficult Time With Therapy and 1 Great Boook
Vanessa Ray has won viewers’ hearts as a new member of the Reagan family on the long-running CBS series Blue Bloods. But behind the scenes, the actor has dealt with some serious issues. When she weathered a crisis, it affected not only her but also her husband since 2015, Landon Beard.
When things got better, Ray and Beard realized they had to figure out their relationship again on the other side. They found their way through the help of therapy and a great book.
Vanessa Ray went through a crisis
Blue Bloods has been on the air for 13 seasons. Ray has played Eddie Janko since Season 4. But although she’s usually happy onscreen, about six years ago, she experienced a mental health crisis.
She suffered from severe depression, and to cope, she turned to unhealthy behaviors, including drugs and alcohol. Ray got to such a low point in her life she realized something had to change. So she sought help at a mental health facility. She spent three months there, undergoing intense therapy and learning more about herself and what she needs.
“I was diagnosed bipolar at that point, which made everything make so much sense to me,” she said.
Her time in treatment helped her get to a healthier state of being, and she says it’s also made her more authentic and loving toward herself.
But as anyone who has weathered a mental health crisis can tell you: getting help doesn’t make all your problems disappear.
Putting her marriage back together
In an interview with Women on Top, Ray opened up about her experience with treatment and how it affected her marriage.
“Then, when I came back to the real world — you know, Landon and I — my husband and I — had to have a ton of therapy as well within that. Because here I am, changing, starting to take accountability for myself, trying to be present, and all of those things. And my husband is someone who takes care of everything.”
She explained that Beard was accustomed to taking care of things for her, and she had to learn to take responsibility for herself.
“And so all of a sudden I was like no, no, no, I don’t need your help,” she explained. “…it was difficult in our marriage. And it was the question of whether or not either of us wanted to be in a marriage where we completely flipped the script.”
Vanessa Ray credits these things with helping them get through
Ray and Beard managed to stay together and learned how to change their patterns for the better. And she says that they used some important tools to get there.
“Ultimately, we’ve come out on the other side, thanks to like, you know, Codependent No More. That’s a great book. Everyone should read it.”
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself is a self-help book by Melody Beattie. It teaches that it’s impossible to change someone else’s behavior and that you deserve your own care and compassion. People with mental health problems, alcoholism, or addiction often have self-destructive behaviors, and those who love them can get lost trying to save them.
For Ray and Beard, these vital tools helped them build a healthier relationship. These days, Ray is open about what she went through and seems grateful for everything she’s learned. She can recommend a great book for people who look up to her and may be facing similar struggles.
