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Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford had an affair for three months while shooting the first Star Wars movie. No one else knew about it but the two of them, so Fisher used diary entries as an outlet to express her emotions. She felt as though she couldn’t talk to anyone about their secret affair, so instead, she wrote about it. 

The actor boldly shared her diary entries about Ford in her 2016 memoir titled The Princess Diarist. In these entries, she talked about how she felt as though Ford was “way out of her league” and that she had “won the man lottery” by being with him.  

Harrison Ford in 'Star Wars'
Harrison Ford in ‘Star Wars’ | FilmPublicityArchive/Getty Images

Carrie Fisher was ‘obsessed’ with Harrison Ford because he didn’t return her love

In her memoir titled The Princess Diarist, Fisher explained that one of the reasons she was so infatuated with Ford was because he didn’t love her back. Although she was head over heels for her co-star, he was distant and aloof with her. Fisher said that as much as she wanted him to love her, she preferred that he didn’t return her feelings. Fisher thought that if he actually loved her, she would feel “disappointed.” 

“Trying relentlessly to make you love me, but I don’t want the love,” she wrote. “I quite prefer the quest for it. The challenge. I am always disappointed with someone who loves me- how perfect can he be if he can’t see through me?”

Carrie Fisher thought Harrison Ford was way ‘out of her league’ 

In her memoir, Fisher said that she had “won the man lottery” by scoring someone like Ford. She said that he had “the face of someone that painters would want to paint or poets would wax poetic about.”

And because she held such a high opinion of her co-star (and was very insecure about herself at the time), she said that Ford was way “out of her league.” 

“If Harrison and I went to prom together, no one would believe it,” she wrote. “‘What’s he doing with her?’ Captain of the football team and president of the cool literary club? What’s he doing with cutie-pie sweetcheeks, with the troll doll collection and Cary Grant obsession? Must be a glitch in the machine…”

Carrie Fisher said there was still time for her and Harrison Ford to ‘Grow old together’

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Surprisingly, Fisher offered an opportunity to Ford for them to “grow old together.” Despite all the time that has passed since their affair that occurred over 40 years ago, Fisher said there was still time for the two of them to make it work.

“So while there’s still time for Carrison to grow old together, that gateway is steadily closing,” she wrote. “If we’re going to get back together, we’re going to have to do it soon. And getting back together with someone you were never truly with is, to say the least, complicated. But absolutely worth the effort. Or not. I’ll probably regret writing this, but if you have the impulse to yell at me, please don’t. Periodically, I feel guilty enough on my own. My hopes aren’t high, and neither, as it happens, am I.”